It's so easy to live for me. To decide when I want to do things and what I want to do based on how I feel, what I like, what I know works.Sure, I think I want to live for Jesus. To live like him. To love like him. Love is not self seeking...Is life all about reaching my goals even if they are what I think God would want me to do? I have to stay connected to Him and continually say 'Not my will, but yours be done.' or I will push away the cup he asks me to drink because 'He loves me and wouldn't choose that for me. He said I'd be victorious and no harm would come near my tent!'One thing God specifically has spoken to me may be a hot topic for some of you ladies reading this. He said to honor my husband. To respect him. To prefer him over myself. To submit to him.
This is not easy. Especially when I am the wiser one and he's made so many mistakes and my way is better and there are reasons to believe we should be equal in all things....
Seriously? Did those self righteousness, self seeking, self promoting, selfish words just come out of my heart? Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.Okay God, I know I'm selfish and prideful. I don't want to be. I know this will be hard, but I don't want anything standing between you and me and what you have planned. Help me. Create in me a clean heart.So, the new year started off with me looking for ways to consciously live honor and respect to my husband.Keeping my mouth shut was tested right away. "Seriously? That's how you're going to handle that situation with the kids?'' As if I could father the father better than the Father can father the father. ''Do you really think that is a good idea?'' Who's the smart one again? ''I don't feel like doing that, let's do what I want to do.'' Because it's all about me, remember? And then there is the issue of doing things because I want to or because he wants me to. Many of us use the excuse of trying to look good for our man, as a way to go get pampered. We spend copious amounts of money, time and thought on our hair, makeup, clothing and our bodies when many men think all of it is overboard. Are we really just going there to compete with our women friends?I'll admit the opposite. I like the natural look. I like to be clean and neat, but I don't need to be 'fashionable' and keeping up with the latest fads. I like natural and don't want to put chemicals in my hair on my nails and all over my skin. I like natural and my skin is very sensitive so tanning is out of the option. I like natural and would rather pretend I'm in fantastic shape because I can garden and can and take the kids to the park and watch them play.My husband likes a bit of pizazz on his woman. He likes a curl and some make up and a highlight or two. He likes some fancy nails, bling, and sparkle. He likes working out at the gym and getting cut. He'd like our family to run and play together and he'd enjoy playing tennis on a date.So, what does that mean for me? Sure I can justify 'natural' in the name of health. But is it too much to ask to do a little more than the daily ponytail? Is it too much to ask to throw in a 24 minute exercise Dvd most days and swallow a vitamin or two?Who knows, maybe I'll start having more energy and want to do more than sit on a park bench. Maybe I will play a game of soccer with the kids and maybe it will benefit our family relationships. Maybe we will play tennis or go to the gym on a date and actually end up talking instead of wasting money watching someone else's love story.So, here I am, down 12 pounds since the beginning of the new year and beginning to see some definition in my muscles. If I was only doing it for me, I'd have quit. I would have gone back to sleeping in and watching from the sidelines. Playing in the game is fun. This year, I will be healthy enough to go on some long hikes this summer. This year I will build into the woman my husband wants me to be and this is good and pleasing to the Lord. How about you? Who are you living for?
This is not easy. Especially when I am the wiser one and he's made so many mistakes and my way is better and there are reasons to believe we should be equal in all things....
Seriously? Did those self righteousness, self seeking, self promoting, selfish words just come out of my heart? Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.Okay God, I know I'm selfish and prideful. I don't want to be. I know this will be hard, but I don't want anything standing between you and me and what you have planned. Help me. Create in me a clean heart.So, the new year started off with me looking for ways to consciously live honor and respect to my husband.Keeping my mouth shut was tested right away. "Seriously? That's how you're going to handle that situation with the kids?'' As if I could father the father better than the Father can father the father. ''Do you really think that is a good idea?'' Who's the smart one again? ''I don't feel like doing that, let's do what I want to do.'' Because it's all about me, remember? And then there is the issue of doing things because I want to or because he wants me to. Many of us use the excuse of trying to look good for our man, as a way to go get pampered. We spend copious amounts of money, time and thought on our hair, makeup, clothing and our bodies when many men think all of it is overboard. Are we really just going there to compete with our women friends?I'll admit the opposite. I like the natural look. I like to be clean and neat, but I don't need to be 'fashionable' and keeping up with the latest fads. I like natural and don't want to put chemicals in my hair on my nails and all over my skin. I like natural and my skin is very sensitive so tanning is out of the option. I like natural and would rather pretend I'm in fantastic shape because I can garden and can and take the kids to the park and watch them play.My husband likes a bit of pizazz on his woman. He likes a curl and some make up and a highlight or two. He likes some fancy nails, bling, and sparkle. He likes working out at the gym and getting cut. He'd like our family to run and play together and he'd enjoy playing tennis on a date.So, what does that mean for me? Sure I can justify 'natural' in the name of health. But is it too much to ask to do a little more than the daily ponytail? Is it too much to ask to throw in a 24 minute exercise Dvd most days and swallow a vitamin or two?Who knows, maybe I'll start having more energy and want to do more than sit on a park bench. Maybe I will play a game of soccer with the kids and maybe it will benefit our family relationships. Maybe we will play tennis or go to the gym on a date and actually end up talking instead of wasting money watching someone else's love story.So, here I am, down 12 pounds since the beginning of the new year and beginning to see some definition in my muscles. If I was only doing it for me, I'd have quit. I would have gone back to sleeping in and watching from the sidelines. Playing in the game is fun. This year, I will be healthy enough to go on some long hikes this summer. This year I will build into the woman my husband wants me to be and this is good and pleasing to the Lord. How about you? Who are you living for?