My righteousness is as filthy rags. I can never be good enough to save my children. It's not about me anyway. Jesus paid a price to make us holy. It is only by his grace that we enter.
I tell other parents - children are individuals and they make their own choices. Ultimately they will choose their life and it's not a reflection on you. 'You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.' Yet, I don't give myself the same grace! Inside I'm holding myself to this standard that says if I do it right they will turn out good.
Oh Father, help me let go. I can not do it. It's okay if I fail. It's not about me! In repentance and rest is my salvation. In quietness and trust is my strength. 'It's not by power or might but by my spirit' says the Lord. Be joyful always. Pray continually. Give thanks in all things. Listen to God, do what he says and that's it.
My children are individuals they ultimately will make their own decisions and it is not a reflection on me. I can give them all I have. I can show them all I know. I can model for them life in the Spirit. I can discipline and guide. They must live their own life. I am responsible for my own actions. Period.
It's not my job to force my children to live the way I think they should. It is my job to help them learn how to make wise decisions and live with the consequences of their actions.
And do I believe in karma? What goes around comes around? Certainly what we sow, we reap, but that is the beauty of life in Christ! In Him there is forgiveness. In Him there is grace that supercedes cause and effect. His strength is made perfect in my weakness. His grace is sufficient for me. Stop striving!
Certainly some people will judge me by my children. But, that is not my problem. I am accountable to my God. He alone is my judge. And I can fail. He is my victory!